A Practical Guide to Emailing Parents

Like most things in life, email has its ups and its downs. When it comes to teacher-family communication, email can be convenient, quick, and practical. However, emails between teachers and parents or caregivers can waste our time and cause stress and misunderstandings as well.

How do you know when to send an email and when to pick up the phone to have a real-time conversation? To help you decide, categorize your parent communication into three actions like a traffic light:

• Red—Do not email.
• Yellow—It depends on the situation.
• Green—Go ahead and send.

Consider the following tips from my 2023 book, When Calling Parents Isn’t Your Calling: A Teacher’s Guide to Communicating with Parents, to help you decide on the most effective communication action depending on the situation.

RED Light

Don’t send an email if the topic is serious or sensitive. If you need to contact a parent or another caregiver regarding a serious or sensitive matter such as mental health, extreme behaviors, or academic struggles, a phone call or face-to-face meeting might be the best method to foster a productive discussion. Tone can easily get lost in an email. You may be writing an email about a child’s behavior with the best intentions of empathy and care, but the parent or caregiver might read it as accusatory or reprimanding. If they can hear your voice and engage in dialogue, the message can be received in a more accurate light.

If you need to have one of these conversations, only use email to set up either a call or a sit-down meeting.

Here’s a helpful tip I share in the book:

Nowadays with email being the most popular and most convenient mode of communication, it is rare that I will “cold call” a parent. Instead, I set aside a chunk of time a few days per week for parent calls and emails. When setting up a call, email first with, “Are you available today between 3–4 p.m. or tomorrow from 9–9:30 a.m. to discuss Ralph’s recent quiz? What number is best to call?”

This type of email is beneficial in three ways: 1) It eliminates wasting time playing phone tag. 2) The parents have a heads-up and won’t be caught by surprise. (No one likes an unsolicited phone call.) and 3) The phone call will occur at a predetermined time that works for your schedule.

YELLOW Light

It depends on the situation. As you read the previous section, you might have been bothered by the idea that there was no written documentation of what was discussed. This is a valid concern, and a follow-up email can provide an important paper trail.

Another tip in the book:

Start the practice of sending an email after each phone call or meeting. To keep the admin in the loop, copy the appropriate administrator (CC or BCC depending on the nature of the conversation) summarizing what was discussed and what plan of action each party will take. Here is an example of a follow-up email after a phone call regarding a discipline matter:

“Mr. Holland,

“Thank you for taking the time to meet with me today regarding Opus’s behavior in class. As we discussed, Opus will stay after school tomorrow to clean desks as his consequence for writing on the school furniture. I appreciate your support and collaboration.”

This written follow-up helps you and the administrators keep a record of communication with parents in case another incident occurs again.

Replying to parent or caregiver emails: My school requires educators to reply to parent emails within 24 business hours, ideally before the school day ends. With all of our daily responsibilities, it is not practical or feasible to always reply with a fully formed answer to their requests or questions. Instead, consider replying with a courteous time-staller response like this: “Thank you for reaching out to me regarding Liesl’s progress in U.S. history. I will look over her recent tests and essays and get back to you tomorrow or Wednesday.” This time-staller response expresses that you have received the email and plan to research their request, and it buys you a day or two to reply with an informed answer.

Prescheduled progress check-ins: A few times in my teaching career, a parent has requested an email from me every time their child misses an assignment, performs poorly on an assessment, or arrives late to class. Of course, this is unreasonable, but alternatively, I turn the request back onto the parent. I ask them to email me periodically (weekly, ideally) to check in. I can easily reply with a brief update of their child’s progress that week. This solution seems to satisfy parents and teachers alike.

GREEN Light

Go ahead and send. After reading the red and yellow sections, you might be wondering, “When can I send an email?” Emails are fantastic for quick reminders, mass updates (but don’t overdo it), and happy notes. One of my favorite things to do on a Friday afternoon is to send a few notes of praise to parents about their child. I check off each student on my roster who receives a happy note so that everyone gets at least one throughout the year. (One caveat here: If a “quick” email turns into multiple replies, it might be best to follow up with a call so that you’re not wasting your time volleying replies back and forth.)

Email can be our friend, but it also can get us into situations that could have been cleared up with a phone call. Use this handy tool wisely, and you will save yourself headaches and precious time.